Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Beside me the monstrumologist murmured, "I believe I am in hell, therefore I am there.

How can I be myself, when others expect me to be someone else?

You don't take it personally. You understand that if people are angry that somehow the government is failing, then they are going to look to the guy who represents government.

I got involved with an acting school and studied for a couple years. They used to have improv exercises that you would work on and you would do improvs.

Many people ask me what I have learned from all of the experiences in my life, and I say unhesitatingly: People are wonderful. It is true. People really are wonderful.

The best teachers coach their students and the best coaches are great teachers.

Think deeply about life, it's worth it!

The glory of wealth and of beauty is fleeting and frail; virtue is illustrious and everlasting.

What goes by the name of love is banishment, with now and then a postcard from the homeland, such is my considered opinion, this evening.

Preaching grace produces fruit. Preaching law produces nuts.