Ingenuity and incongruity always cheer me up.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Change of heart comes from the Creator.

Just because it isn't perfect, doesn't mean it isn't awesome.

There will be a game where somebody scores more than Brazil and that might be the game that they lose.

If I was in a room with a bunch of skinheads talking about racism, then I would be disturbed, but after we finished a take, we were normal people again.

I can't control my own income, I can't control my own destiny, I can't even control my own farm if I'm a farmer. This is not going to last.

There's a lot of people I'd like to write with, like Keith Urban or even as far out as Stevie Wonder.

I could talk more directly in a nonfiction voice than I could in fiction.

A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory.

I don't think being beautiful takes away from your credibility.

I want to write a novel about Silence," he said; “the things people don’t say.