Injustice is relatively easy to bear what stings is justice.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Patience that blending of moral courage with physical timidity.

Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week

It is important that when we come to die we have nothing to do but die.

Reasons why members of Congress deserve a pay raise: Many big corporations are cutting back on bribes; nearly half the members have never been indicted.

I think to be cut off from your heart is the greatest tyranny in the world.

I asked a shop owner if he could help me out. He said: "What way did you come in?"

But at the same time that the experience is pulling you apart, it's also bonding you. You have this joint venture! You both made this baby. And that's the thing I still can't get over

Friday' is about hanging out with friends, having fun. I felt like it was my personality in that song.

It was Saturday night and I was feelin kinda funny, Gold around my neck, pockets full of money.

A lot of people only see me as villains.