Inside every sane person there's a madman struggling to get out," said the shopkeeper. "That's what I've always thought. No one goes mad quicker than a totally sane person.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Can you wait until I'm gone to be her boyfriend? Cause right now, I like to think of you as my boyfriend.

The quieter we become the more we can hear the love language of God speaking to our hearts.

When I was on the bench, I used to have a yellow pad, and I put on the pad at the beginning of the day, 'patience' and 'restraint.'

I read 'Crime and Punishment' years ago and don't recall the details of it, but I do retain a strong sense of the creeping paranoia and panic.

I love chaos.... It's the poetic element in a dull and ordered world.

Take some time to learn first aid and CPR. It saves lives, and it works.

I've always liked working on stories that combine people who are relatable with something insane.

My musical tastes change every week.

We traveled for two weeks with a pickled hippo.

A real explosion is not only much more fun to shoot, it also helps the actors and creates an energy on set and ultimately in the scene.