Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.

I don't know if I can live on my income or not - the government won't let me try it.

Money talks — but credit has an echo.

My mind wanders a lot, but fortunately it's too weak to go very far.

When you come into the world you have nothing... when you leave you have nothing... and in between there's the IRS.

I believe in facing reality. But only because I don't like turning my back on it.

People used to live lives of quiet desperation - now they go on talk shows!

I like to get to work early. Before my brain knows what I'm up to.

The Senate being tied is a start. Now, if only it could be gagged.

It's not that Good doesn't triumph over Evil, it's that the point spread is too small.

A fool and his money are soon parted. It takes creative tax laws for the rest.

You're a superhero. Deal with it.

Unprofessionalism damages the business reputation and tarnishes the trust of society.

There is no tragedy in missing a putt, no matter how short. All have erred in this respect.

I love what I do, and I never thought about doing anything else. I think my voice was bestowed upon me; it was a gift I was given. I just had to learn to understand how to use it.

I view cats as more like wild animals. We feed it, but a lot of times it's not eating the food because it's murdering other animals outside and eating their meat.

Even if the whole of India, ranged on one side, were to declare that Hindu-Muslim unity is impossible, I will declare that it is perfectly possible.

You make the decision with vision and god makes the provision.

Every ‘mistake’ is an opportunity in jazz.

The bill is emblematic of the attempt by the majority party to control every aspect of our lives.