Insiders say that Trump is running for president as a publicity stunt. That's not the Donald Trump I know.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

We are FREE, not bound like a Tree. We can Move, we can Dance... We can take a Chance!-RVM

No matter how good a story is, there is more at stake in the telling.

Coming from The Disney Channel, anything I do is going to offend somehow, somewhere, somehow.

Their whole life will begin to shift, from their first physical contact with you.

Politics is the gizzard of society, full of gut and gravel.

Fasting is like spring cleaning for your body.

There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.

I am your friend Bob!

I'm an old-fashioned theatre major at heart.

The various forms of intellectual activity which together make up the culture of an age, move for the most part from different starting-points, and by unconnected roads.