Inspiration: A peculiar effect of divine flatulence emitted by the Holy Spirit which hisses into the ears of a few chosen of God.

Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.

If you want to know who controls you, look at who you are not allowed to criticize.

It is dangerous to be right in matters where established men are wrong.

The mirror is a worthless invention. The only way to truly see yourself is in the reflection of someone else's eyes.

Give me the patience for the small things of life, courage for the great trials of life. Help me to do my best each day and then go to sleep knowing God is awake.

Many are destined to reason wrongly; others, not to reason at all; and others, to persecute those who do reason.

Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.

The most important decision you make is to be in a good mood.

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.

The more often a stupidity is repeated, the more it gets the appearance of wisdom.

His eyes widened just a bit, his lips flexed. I realized he was trying not to laugh. I hate it when people find my threats amusing.

There is no science without spirituality

Your style guide is your most loyal brand protector.

Be wise with speed; a fool at forty is a fool indeed.

For the world is only governed by self-interest.

Yes, war is hell. It is awful. It involves human beings killing other human beings, sometimes innocent civilians. That is why we despise war.

I don't celebrate because I'm only doing my job. When a postman delivers letters, does he celebrate?

Please give reason. Raised taxes; marching us off to war again; approved more NSA snooping. WHO ARE THEY?!

Yielding to emotions such as anger or hurt or defensiveness will drive away the Holy Ghost.

Granddaddy used to handle snakes in church. Granny drank strychnine. I guess you could say I had a leg up, genetically speaking.