Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

Take all of this Book upon reason that you can, and the balance on faith, and you will live and die a happier man.

I don't think the dreams die - I think that people give up. I think it gets too hard.

Makeup can give you the confidence to...change your job, move abroad, get a pay raise.

You have to make peace with life

You look around New York, and we are surrounded by restaurants and food trucks, and we celebrate food in this city like no tomorrow.

I'm not too sure how much you get for winning the Champion's League, but it's definitely 10 million euros.

Two beheadings out of six wives is too many.

The American Way is an amalgam of our compassion, our strengths, our failings and our attempts to build a better world, a more perfect union.

The first springs of great events, like those of great rivers, are often mean and little.

The engineers of the future will be poets.