Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.

Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.

Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.

Love has perfect eyes for beauty.

But the thing is, a wife is a wife and you can't ditch her like a worn shirt after a life.

She sent him a warm and gentle wind, and Lord Odysseus was happy as he set his sails to catch the breeze. He sat beside the steering oar and used his skill to steer the raft.

The only thing people fear more than what's going to happen is not getting footage.

The poet is in command of his fantasy, while it is exactly the mark of the neurotic that he is possessed by his fantasy.

Everything is an illusion.

I always performed as a kid to make my family laugh and was more concerned with making kids at school laugh than I was about the lessons.

The dark, uneasy world of family life - where the greatest can fail and the humblest succeed.

I have the greatest aversion to being a candidate on a ticket with a man whose record as an upright public man is to be in question--to be defended from the beginning to the end.

I just like the idea of this creature or a being on the roof, you know? It's kind of spooky.