Instead of reading vows at the wedding ceremony, they read hacked Sony emails.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

God is the Great Master.

My movements to the chair of government will be accompanied by feelings not unlike those of a culprit who is going to the place of his execution.

I could feel the real interaction between directing and acting, when an actor or an actress really suggests very interesting things.

I think that the EU with the Lisbon agenda has put the right emphasis on growth and employment.

I hope there is nothing about me that people have a big problem with. You know, I like to think of myself as lovable.

Every day is a new sense of tearing my heart out of my body again when I see other children who have been killed, and I know what their families are going through.

Don't you agree, fuzzball?

I eventually want to be the anchor of the first trillion-dollar company.

I wouldn't want the federal government dictating how I use my cameras, every community has their own issues and their own dynamics.

You've got each other's back. I think if everyone shows up with that attitude, then everybody has a great time, and I think the work is better as well.