Intellectually, as politically, the direction of all true progress is towards greater freedom, and along an endless succession of ideas.

False friends are like our shadow, keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine, but leaving us the instant we cross into the shade.

Doubt whom you will, but never yourself.

Our first and last love is self-love.

The scope of an intellect is not to be measured with a tape-string, or a character deciphered from the shape or length of a nose.

It is the passion that is in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it.

We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them.

The opinions of the misanthropical rest upon this very partial basis, that they adopt the bad faith of a few as evidence of the worthlessness of all.

The lively and mercurial are as open books, with the leaves turned down at the notable passages. Their souls sit at the windows of their eyes, seeing and to be seen.

Tears are nature's lotion for the eyes. The eyes see better for being washed by them.

The passions are like fire, useful in a thousand ways and dangerous only in one, through their excess.

Out loud I said I had two children. Silently I said three. I always felt like apologizing to her for that.

It was generally believed that Catholics were not interested in arts and science graduate schools. They weren't going to be intellectuals. And so I put the theses to the test. And they all collapsed.

Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.

I love sketch comedy. My real goal is to do something with Albert Brooks. That would be my fantasy. I stay up night and day thinking up stuff he might find funny.

America is great not because it's a team. America is great because it is a nation whose founding documents elevated the rights of the individual.

Two quiet people are not very fun together.

You couldn't be perfect enough to keep the world from betraying you.

I'm terribly forgetful. I've lost laptops, cell-phones.

By confronting us with irreducible mysteries that stretch our daily vision to include infinity, nature opens an inviting and guiding path toward a spiritual life.