Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work.

The streets of Vienna are paved with culture, the streets of other cities with asphalt.

Someone who can write aphorisms should not fritter away his time in essays.

Corruption is worse than prostitution. The latter might endanger the morals of an individual, the former invariably endangers the morals of the entire country.

I had a terrible vision: I saw an encyclopedia walk up to a polymath and open him up.

The sound principle of a topsy-turvy lifestyle in the framework of an upside-down world order has stood every test.

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer.

Newspapers have roughly the same relationship to life as fortune-tellers to metaphysics.

Christianity has enriched the erotic meal with the appetizer of curiosity and spoiled it with the dessert of remorse.

The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people worse than they are.

Travelling the road will tell you more about the road than the google will tell you about the road.

Take care not to welcome today the terrors that will make yesterday's demons look like angels.

What is it, then, that comprises our deepest selves and gives us worth?

Ill-fitted T-shirts stretched over a gut are my pet hate. And if the colour's faded - ugh.

The sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer.

I think an education is not only important, it is the most important thing you can do with your life.

So in every test, let us say: "Thank you, my God, because this was needed for my salvation."

Say no ill of the yeere, till it be past. [Say no ill of the year till it be past.]

Our enemy is by tradition our savior, in preventing us from superficiality.

Let us ask the Holy Spirit for the grace to live daily according to the mind of Jesus and his Gospel.