Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

You can’t do everything for everyone, not even for yourself. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it.

The great thing about church is that it has people in it - and people can be tricky

The main factors that sponsor the abuse of time include procrastination and excuses. Procrastination makes you to shift a task that you can do now into the unseen future

Religion without reason is like making love without love.

Memory changes as a person matures.

Traditionally, duos get accused of lots of things.

It is the glory of English Law, that its roots are sunk deep into the soil of national history; that it is the slow product of the age long growth of the national life.

It is so surreal to come into a shop and see pictures of myself everywhere and hear my album playing.

Just know you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna make this place your home.

Insurance companies don't necessarily want to invest in your wellnes because you're likely to switch insurance companies within 10 years. They don't benefit from their investment in you.