Invent new drugs, that's what you should be doing... fight to get new weirder ones... and weirder establishments to do them in.

Race, Religion, Ethnic Pride, Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you have never met

You never hear in the news, "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the north."

If you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child.

There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.

There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.

I am a very mediocre intellect, at best, and I am smarter than most people I know - and that terrifies me.

Shouldn't the long-term goal of any society be complete unemployment?

One UK paper described me as a "miserablist", a word I'd never heard before or since. I looked it up and it means someone who can only be happy when they are miserable. Perfect.

I think a lot of women look at prostitutes like they're scabs crossing an union picket line, where they go: You can't just go out and sell it for what it's worth, we're holding out for so much more!

What if I don't want a leader? Where does that vote go? I do good on my own. I don't want to be led.

Never a day without a line.

Mastery of language affords one remarkable opportunities.

In the race of life, you need self confidence, courage and faith in your abilities to win the race.

Every task that requires completion today, left undone, turns into a double task for tomorrow.

And that's why, gentleman, if your little girl doesn't come up to scratch, it will be our painful duty to cut all your throats. Merely in a way of business, as you might say, and no offense, I hope.

May your dreams be sweet and your nightmares be spooky-monster-scary and not grandma-died-scary.

I'm a big music fan, an admirer. But I mean by no means am I about to release an album or anything.

It's sad when you think about it, but also kind of beautiful.

Self-education is a continuing source of pleasure to me, for the more I know, the fuller my life is and the better I appreciate my own existence

One of the best questions you can ask when something negative happens is this: 'What does this experience make possible?'