Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

What you do consistently shapes your life.

You should enjoy the freedom. Sometimes a bit of time helps you see what matters.

Words to invoke peace & awareness. Words to create freedom and fairness. Words to plant sacred seeds. and sing us back into balance.

There was never an angry man that thought his anger unjust.

I do have one very brutal writing ritual. If I'm working in the morning, I don't allow myself a cup of tea until I've written two paragraphs. It's harsh.

Just let me do what I'm doing, and then when all of this is up, then you can say how my career was. Don't try to sum up my career in one or two seasons. Let me finish it first.

As long as I kept my body moving I could forget about the emptiness inside.

religion is poetry, - poetry is religion.

Neat trick: to be roused to ambition and reconciled to one's mediocrity at the same time.

It's nothing personal, but I'm going to kill this guy