Irony deals with opposites; it has nothing to do with coincidence.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

I hunger for your sleek laugh and your hands the color of a furious harvest. I want to eat the sunbeams flaring in your beauty.

Psychos are in uniform circulation in society.

I found, as every teacher does, that there is nothing like teaching to help one learn.

I am speaking of something deeper. I am speaking of everything a being can give another. This is what I offer you. I offer myself.

I get scared when I think I'm going to miss my flight. I get obsessed when I actually miss a flight.

I don't know anything and neither do you.

You cannot run away from what’s in your heart.

There is nothing to which men cling more tenaciously than the privileges of class.

They told me never fall in love, It never works out in your favor. You way too young and right now that's just human nature.

I enjoy playing a quintessential antihero. There's something therapeutic about playing such characters. I know it sounds corny but I feel like I learn about myself when I play that characters.