Is it possible to be totally partial?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

We get our voice from the voices of others. Read promiscuously. Imitate, copy, but become your own voice.

Who controls the issuance of money controls the government!

Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.

There are times when silence is the most sacred of responses.

Dalmatians are not only superior to other dogs, they are like all dogs, infinitely less stupid than men.

I will love you all my life and when I die I will still love you through eternity and beyond.

People go to college to find who they are as a person and find what they want to do in life, and I kind of already know that so it would be like I'd be taking a step back or something.

Elites play the role today that landlords played under feudalism. They levy interest and financial fees that are like a tax, to support what the classical economists called "unproductive activity."

The great thing about being ignored is that you can speak the truth with impunity.

Very few established institutions, governments and constitutions ...are ever destroyed by their enemies until they have been corrupted and weakened by their friends.