Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.

One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.

it's something rebellious about picking up and leaving buying a one way ticket and not knowing when you want to return.

True humility is not thinking less of yourself

When we hide discrimination under the guise of 'religious freedom, ' we make a mockery of human rights.

Politicians use religion, and they get their troops riled up with religion.

THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman’s life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me—not forever, but periodically.

If everybody became a poet the world would be much better. We would all read to each other.

A war with Pakistan would be an utter disaster.

Stood for his country's glory fast, And nailed her colors to the mast!

That’s me, man – I’m a lover not a fighter.

Personal hatred and family affection are not incompatible; they often flourish and grow strong together.