Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Consider--We are bornNot with purpose, But with potential.

We have to prepare for the worst, and the worst is war.

No matter how brilliant an action, it should not be considered great unless it was the result of a great motive.

I think we need to invest more in America.

Writers are always selling somebody out.

When I took up the cross I recognized it's meaning. The cross is something that you bear, and ultimately, that you die on.

He who owns a hundred sheep must fight with fifty wolves

I've found increasingly less effectiveness with the man-on-the street type of stuff that was very standard fare for years. It can still be effective, but it's got to be done well.

Do you happen to have another Condom? I think I've discovered the cure for headaches.