It had never occurred to us that the Kremlin's new anti-booze campaign would apply to journalists. Now, that's a human-rights violation.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Were I but perfectly normal, I would just not be.

For a brief review of our history to date shows us in a very singular role:that of serial killers.

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

I don't labor over my drawings. I want to get freedom in the line.

The paternalist is a sentimentalist at heart, and the sentimentalist is always potentially cruel.

I remained too much inside my head and ended up losing my mind.

A classic is classic not because it conforms to certain structural rules, or fits certain definitions It is classic because of a certain eternal and irrepressible freshness.

It's hard to find things that won't sell online.

If we don't cut expensive things like Head Start, child nutrition programs, and teachers, what sort of future are we leaving for our children?

Many people lock a part of themselves away. It's a bit sacred.