It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

It is true - I am creating the life that I want.

society's been drugging its women for years

A dog doesn't care if your rich or poor, smart or dumb. Give him your heart.. and he'll give you his.

Colonies do not cease to be colonies because they are independent.

I have got a running stream of love you see. So no matter what stages.. they put us through, we'll never be blue.

By the very act of arguing, you awake the patient's reason; and once it is awake, who can foresee the result?

The history of totalitarian regimes is reflected in the evolution and perfection of the instruments of terror and more especially the police.

To say revelation is to say, 'the Word became flesh...'

The great achievement of the Catholic Church lay in harmonizing, civilizing the deepest impulses of ordinary, ignorant people.

I never really called people out. It was more along the lines of teasing a person. It started for me in fifth grade on the basketball court.