It is a mistake trying to cheer up camels. You may as well drop meringues into a black hole.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

An artist must take comfort that there's no satisfaction whatsoever with one's creation, just a dissatisfaction that keeps one a step away from sliding into mediocrity.

We may travel the world over to find a good spot, But if we are blind to search within, we find it not.

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

See with eyes unclouded by hate.

I'm sure there will continue to be exciting new products and major changes, but it looks as if the existing technology has a great deal of room to grow and prosper.

When I was filming the Marilyn Monroe movie, I was listening to a lot of Leonard Cohen.

I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.

You know what rumors are like-like a jar full of moths. Once they escape, they're all over the place.

At Cisco, I made every decision based on what was good for the company, and that pretty much ruined my marriage and my health.

A plain narrative of any remarkable fact, emphatically related, has a more striking effect without the author's comment.