It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

I wanted that future officer to weigh decisions with a supple mind and to be comfortable with nuance and uncertainty.

Some friend of yours, perhaps?""Except yourself I have none, " he answered. "I do not encourage visitors.

I can taste sunshine and hope on his tongue. I want this kiss, this taste, to last forever.

Every woman I know in the broadcast business worked hard so we can talk about sports, not talk about us talking about sports. Ultimately, that's the goal. When the game starts, it's just a game.

I think the American people out in the heartland have a different view than the people in Washington.

We're going to let foreign corporations and their CEO's decide the outcomes of the [presidential elections] you just can't do this.

Most magicians are afraid of magic.

Prejudice for regularity and simplicity is a source of error that has only too often infected philosophy.

Breakfast is always the best time for something juicy, sweet and fresh - it just feels like the right way to open the day. There's no right way, though, when it comes to choosing the fruit.

Are there other people who, when watching a documentary set in a prison, secretly think, as I have, 'Wish I had all that time to read'?