It is as hard to get a man to stay at home after you've married him as it was to get him to go home before you married him.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

Don’t just timidly swing at the problems in your life, swing hard enough to knock them out! Small efforts produce small results, big efforts produce big results!

Yet he refused to be depressed. Instead, Morrie had become a lightning rod of ideas.

Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, 'Certainly I can!' Then get busy and find out how to do it.

No pressure, Jack. All we need is a miracle.

Regardless of what the tour pros think, golf is a rich and varied game, and what all of us awkward fools do on weekends is what golf is truly all about.

The key to the success of any producer is to have a great team around.

I have taught my students not to apply rules or mechanical ways of seeing.

Whatever side I take, I know well that I will be blamed.

I really don't care about being the first, so long as it inspires someone else to be the second.

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well