It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

When you stop expecting miracles, life is the miracle.

When I started learning the cello, I fell in love with the instrument because it seemed like a voice - my voice.

The good and bad things are what form us as people... change makes us grow.

Love is a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them - we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

To get what you want, STOP doing what isn't working.

And how fascinating history is - the long, variegated pageant of man's still continuing evolution of this strange planet, so much the most interesting of all the myriads of spinners through space.

That's how it always is in the entertainment industry, your feet are always treading Jello.

I don't laugh that much, but I do like humorous books, and I like to entertain readers that way.

You can't get blase about something you haven't done yet.

I am not the archetypal leading man. This is mainly for one reason: as you may have noticed, I have no hair.