It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall.

I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.

My speaking style was criticised by no less an authority than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my rhetorical skills denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg.

It is possible to have a pretty good life and career being a leech and a parasite in the media world, gadding about from TV studio to TV studio, writing inconsequential pieces and having a good time.

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it.

The only reason I wouldn't go to some parts of New York is the real risk of meeting Donald Trump.

My ideal world is, we're there, we're in the EU, trying to make it better.

There is absolutely no one, apart from yourself, who can prevent you, in the middle of the night, from sneaking down to tidy up the edges of that hunk of cheese at the back of the fridge.

In 1904, 20 per cent of journeys were made by bicycle in London. I want to see a figure like that again. If you can't turn the clock back to 1904, what's the point of being a Conservative?

I am supporting David Cameron purely out of cynical self-interest.

The difference between Hitler's speeches and Churchill's speeches was that Hitler made you think he could do anything; Churchill made you think you could do anything.

Give me the strength to leaf, for I fear otherwise we may hang ourselves.

A man has no more right to an opinion for which he cannot account than for a glass of beer for which he cannot pay.

You know, [women] do not really condemn any weakness: rather, they try to humiliate or disarm our strengths. That is why women arethe reward, not of the warrior, but of the criminal.

On the robot kit, I can choose very boring parts or I can choose exciting and interesting parts. That is a reflection of my personality and the kinds of things I am interested in.

I like money. It's fun to fold and stack and smell and look at. It's just plain fun to count money, and I often do it in a loud falsetto while wearing nothing but a captain's hat and a coin changer.

If thou love each thing thou wilt perceive the mystery of God in all.

Health and mony goe farre. [Health and money go far.]

I don't want to be like anybody else.

I would appoint judges that interpreted the Constitution rather than invented it, understood the difference between being a judge and being a legislator.

Freedom for the government is enslavement for the people. When the government is free the people are enslaved. When the government is contained then the people are free.