It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

Even knowing, as I do now, that grace, power, and, yes, love can hide the darkest elements of the human heart, I would do it all again.

curling leaves and twining branches outside my bay window look like a Van Gogh in the starlight - there is a river out there somewhere

But to understand English is one thing

The soldiers in my life had raised the bar for bad guys.

It is not kindness to tell patients that need strong medicine that nothing serious is wrong with them.

Living life at a young age is like being a sponge thrust into the ocean. You absorb what's around you. If you're around people who are supportive and positive, that's how you look at the world.

A responsible Warrior is one who has proved able to observe and to learn.

If she is pleasing to one man, a girl is taken care of.

You can't make someone feel good about themselves until you feel good about yourself.

I would never run for president.