It is not done to let anybody be too happy. The moment two people seem to be enjoying one another's company, a good hostess introduces a third element or removes the first.

Say something idiotic and nobody but a dog politely wags his tail.

Good shot, bad luck and hell are the five basic words to be used in a game of tennis, though these, of course, can be slightly amplified.

The women sit, getting colder and colder, on a seat getting harder and harder, watching oafs, getting muddier and muddier.

Be blind. Be stupid. Be British. Be careful.

For a driver to be driven by somebody else is an ordeal, for there are only three types of drivers: the too fast, the timid and oneself.

When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference.

In society it is etiquette for ladies to have the best chairs and get handed things. In the home the reverse is the case. This is why ladies are more sociable than gentlemen.

when we travel, most of us take too much. I always work on the assumption that I'm going to take everything with me because I don't want the second wife to have anything if the plane crashes.

a woman is not really dressed unless she is wearing a hat.

I have the perfect face for radio.

The effectiveness of your life is determined by how much impact you make

Every uncomfortable experience in life gives you the choice of growing bitter or better.

I've got nothing against girls in tight sweaters - darn it!

I got to thinking that poems were like people. Some people you got right off the bat. Some people you just didn't get--and never would get.

What is opportunity to the man who cant use it?

My favorite place in the morning is in the shower with Eric.

I think it's interesting that the United States and Australia are two of the most individualistic nations in the entire world in terms of national personality.

The most important thing for us is to save lives.

The more often a stupidity is repeated, the more it gets the appearance of wisdom.