It is not in the least likely that any life has ever been lived which was not a failure in the secret judgment of the person who lived it.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, ' said Maxie.'I know how that feels, ' said Blue.'I think some Pharaoh had that carved on his tomb, ' Maxie added.'Yeah? Times don't change much, do they?

We cannot be damaged into health.

Listen, I have to spend every single day living with me, so I know for a fact; I'm lovely, I'm completely lovely.

Haiti fell over? Who built Haiti? Two of the three little pigs?!

I'll ruin everything you are, I'll give you television.

As long as I have laughter, I am not without hope

I don't have faith in the Internet, I have faith in people connected through the Internet.

Everyone lives three versions of themselves; a public life, a private life and a secret life.

There was no cure for the human condition because every man read the present and plotted the future in the light of his own past.

He can talk to himself about his dreams, hopes and aspirations. He can convince himself that there is a place for him and an important work for him to do.