It is the best part of the night. The classic interactive lines are 'Where are you from? What do you do for a living?' I almost always get something interesting.

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.

I don’t believe for a second that weightlifting is a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down again. To me, that’s indecision.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas

Remember when you were considered an environmentalist when you didn't throw junk out the car window? I sure do miss that simpler, happier time.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.

To be born to create, to love, to win at games is to be born to live in time of peace. But war teaches us to lose everything and become what we were not. It all becomes a question of style.

The mind is a useful tool but not a very good friend.

Love is many things, none of them logical.

Jimmy and I were always partners.

You know, you never say never because before I did 'ER,' I always said 'I'll never do a TV series,' so that's what I said.

Ants and savages put strangers to death.

We have so many people retiring that we do not have enough people paying into the system to be able to provide the benefits for those collecting those benefits.

It's not what you will get out of the books that is so enriching - it is what the books will get out of you that will ultimately change your life

If the Absolute becomes limited by the mind, It is no more Absolute; It has become finite.

If no one is pissed-off with you then you are dead but just haven't figured it out yet.