It is the mind that speaks a woman's heart, not the vaginal walls.

You are a person and then you cease to be a person, and a cadaver takes your place.

I dont fear death so much as I fear its prologues: loneliness, decrepitude, pain, debilitation, depression, senility. After a few years of those, I imagine death presents like a holiday at the beach.

I began thinking about my skeleton, this solid, beautiful thing inside me that I would never see.

Instead, I quietly excused myself and went to the bar, to commune with spirits I know how to relate to.

The suffix 'naut' comes from the Greek and Latin words for ships and sailing. Astronaut suggests 'a sailor in space.' Chimponaut suggests 'a chimpanzee in sailor pants'.

All the clothes in my closet are Oakland, California, clothes. You can't wear those anywhere else. The barometric pressure drops and then where are you?

Bodily fluids and solids are universally the most disgusting things we as human beings can come upon, but as long as they are inside us, it's part of you.

Sexual desire is a state not unlike hunger.

Many people will find this book disrespectful. There is nothing amusing about being dead, they will say. Ah, but there is.

Gravity disappears again, and we rise up off the floor like spooks from a grave. It's like the Rapture in here every thirty seconds.

A leader, without wisdom, is dangerous. A wise person, without leadership, is useless. But if they work together, they are unstoppable.

If you don't succeed the first time - you're about average

If you ever pull a switcheroo like that again, Dee, I’m going to offer your boyfriend ten thousand dollars to make out with Alice for two minutes.

The essence of love and compassion is understanding, the ability to recognize the physical, material, and psychological suffering of others, to put ourselves “inside the skin” of the other.

Dr. Johnson's sayings would not appear so extraordinary were it not for his bow-wow way.

You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need.

The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have to shave twice a day.

It has been my experience that rewarding and heartbreaking often go hand in hand.

You talk to your enemies, not just your friends.

For a man who no longer has a homeland, writing becomes a place to live.