It is very hard now to shock people into thinking about government regulation and the extent of government involvement in life.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

With power comes the abuse of power. And where there are bosses, there are crazy bosses. It's nothing new.

You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.

Open to others as you would like them to open to you.

Creating a wonderful drama is an art form, while comedy is just entertainment.

I'm going to be a happy housewife. I'm going to be washing boxers and cooking and doing all those sorts of housewife duties. I just want to be happy and proud of every single day.

I am happy to receive any items of jewelry.

I don't really believe in cliques - I think everyone can be friends with everyone.

It was three o'clock in the morning – the wisest and most accursed hour of the clock. But sometimes it sets us free.

Hillary Clinton is funded by people who murder homosexuals.

I don't want to lose my name because that's how I know myself. There is a legacy here.