It is with sincere affection or friendship as with ghosts and apparitions,--a thing that everybody talks of, and scarce any hath seen.

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.

All women are flirts, but some are restrained by shyness, and others by sense.

Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires.

A work can become modern only if it is first postmodern. Postmodernism thus understood is not modernism at its end but in the nascent state, and this state is constant.

When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.

There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations.

Nothing hinders a thing from being natural so much as the straining ourselves to make it seem so.

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Most people know no other way of judging men's worth but by the vogue they are in, or the fortunes they have met with.

There are no accidents so unlucky from which clever people are not able to reap some advantage, and none so lucky that the foolish are not able to turn them to their own disadvantage.

We are all dying to give our lives away to something, maybe. God or Satan, politics or grammar, topology or philately (...) To games or needles, to some other person.

Don't mistake activity with achievement.

Laziness bears the fruit of hunger and crimes, and those who choose the right path are those willing to pay the price

Make sure people learn and grow from mistakes, and that they share that learning. But, don’t accept the same mistake twice. Only make new mistakes.

All you have to do is believe, then you will see everything.

Not knowing the thing that’s chasing you is a lot scarier than seeing it right in front of you

But I also know in standup, there's nowhere to hide. You get on stage and you deliver, or you are eviscerated and you are thrown into a pile of bodies at the bottom of a mountain.

The way we eat has changed more in the last 50 years than in the previous 10,000.

It's okay not to know everything; that would have calmed me down.

Now if you go exactly where your competitors are, you're dead.