It iz comparitively eazy tew repent ov the sins that we hav committed, but tew repent ov thoze which we intend to commit, is asking tew mutch ov enny man, now days.

Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.

The future starts today, not tomorrow.

Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts.

In times of your need, you will know your true friends.

Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends.

No nation can be really great that is held together by Gatling guns, and no true loyalty can be induced and kept through fear.

Every great dream begins with a dreamer.

If anything might hurt her, silence would; and I wanted to hurt her.

I didn't want to just write stories that were entertaining. Nor did I want to be so scholarly that people couldn't digest it.

I love her but I wouldn't marry her if she [Kate Moss] was the last woman on earth.

Tell me your doctrine of the Fall and I will tell you the state of your theology.