It [live performance] is just very difficult. Doing an hour, hour and a half of live standup is an endurance test. You almost have to do it every day to stay up on it.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language... Apache.

Be so good they can't ignore you.

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.

Relationships end, but they don't end your life. But people do often spending more time finding out about failed relationships than finding successful ones.

Relationships end, but they don't end your life.

Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.

I'm looking for some kind of permanence, so my mark will linger on the world once I'm gone, in the places where I found joy..

Porches are America's lost rooms.

[Africa] is the one continent where you still have a lot more young people than old people. So making sure they're healthy, good nutrition, good education. That'll be important for the world.

The key idea of agile is that teams essentially manage themselves. ... It works in software, and it turns out that it works with kids.

In 'real life' everything is diluted; in the novel everything is condensed.

What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.

Spokespeople sell women the Iron Maiden and name her "Health": if public discourse were really concerned with women's health, it would turn angrily upon this aspect of the beauty myth.

Life is a bank account, there are no withdrawals without first putting something in.

The sin of pride is the sin of sins; in which all subsequent sins are included, as in their germ; they are but the unfolding of this one.

In any nation, the hypocrites do not become apparent except during times of fitnah (severe tests and hardships).