It looks as if Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

We have time to accomplish the task.

The heart can never break if you believe love never dies.

And she had been in love enough times to rule out the possibility that this was merely some feat of nostalgia.

Not a single man on earth knows from his own experience the how and where of his birth, only from tradition, which is often very uncertain.

"Reverence for parents" stands written among the three laws of most revered righteousness.

I want to reach your mind - where is it currently located?

In time they could not even fly after their hats. Want of practice, they called it; but what it really meant was that they no longer believed.

England did nothing in that World Cup, so why were they bringing books out? 'We got beat in the quarter-finals. I played like s**t. Here's my book.'

My dad was a geologist and my mum was a nurse who directed amateur theatrics.

I watch so much television, it's embarrassing.