It may have lost its special-ness forever and the clubs might not being doing well but I think standup is in the best shape it has been in a long time.

It seems people are more willing to let other people control their minds now and recreational drug use doesn't seem to have that same renegade sense of adventure that it once did.

I'm not for everyone. I'm barely for me.

Maybe depression is the most reasonable response to all the crap around us. Maybe it's the happy people who need medication.

That’s the big challenge of life—to chisel disappointment into wisdom so people respect you and you don’t annoy your friends with your whining.

Buying my wife a gun sort of like me saying, ' You know, I kinda want to kill myself, but I want it to be a surprise'.

You can't avoid pain in life. It's how you handle pain, that's what defines you.

In most cases the only difference between depression and disappointment is your level of commitment.

Well, evolution's just a theory.' And, I'm thinking to myself, 'Well, thank goodness gravity's a law.'

We need the children of Indonesia and the Philippines to manufacture our freedom of choice.

Faith in the face of disappointment is only enhanced by laughter in the face of pain.

How do we counter the trend of worldliness? We must saturate our minds, hearts, and souls with God’s Word. The Bible says, “Train yourself to be godly” (1 Timothy 4:7).

What you think of me is none of my business.

Perhaps no other year before or since 1984 has been awaited with such eager anticipation.

Age doesn't matter, unless you're cheese.

Idleness and fear keeps us in the path of duty, but our virtue often gets the praise.

Metallica is going to be one of those bands you look back on in the year 2008, that people will still listen to the way I still listen to Zeppelin and Sabbath albums.

Both hope and pessimism are deeply contagious. And no one is more infectious than a leader.

We keep thinking of deity as a kind of fact, somewhere; God as a fact. God is simply our own notion of something that is symbolic of transcendence and mystery. The mystery is what’s important.

Which is more remarkable fact about America: that millionaires are idealists or idealists become millionaires.

The young intellectuals are all chanting, "Revolution, Revolution," but I say the revolution will have to start in our homes, by achieving equal rights for women.