It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.

Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people.

If we knew all the answers, we won’t ask questions.

But the division in him was a sorrow and a torment, and he became accustomed to it only as one gets used to an unhealed and frequently reopened wound.

It is folly to say you know what is happening to other people. Only they know, if they exist. They have their own Universes of their own eyes and ears.

A great many people now reading and writing would be better employed keeping rabbits.

If you choose to draw from the inner well of free will, then you can make choices that are outside your current karmic patterns.

The problem is not our situation but our perception of our situation

Rick Steiner is so stupid, he once stayed up all night to study for a urine test.

War's dirty little secret is that some men love it.

And if you have high cholesterol, you would feel the same as if you had low cholesterol because there are no side effects, no symptoms of having high cholesterol.

Be non-trend-driven, and explore, be creative and take risks as an artist and as a cultural communicator.