It's 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, except there's just one degree, and Kevin Bacon is Hitler. Can I play? Let's see. Mother Teresa had a mustache. Hitler had a mustache. Mother Teresa is Hitler!

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

Music enables mind to compose things in the outer limit of logic.

I feign fullness, but in reality I am achingly empty. And it is because I too often sit at the table of the world instead of the feet of God.

[The 1975 Chase Econometrics] showed that for every one dollar spent on Apollo, 14 came back into the U.S. economy.

Pessimism blunts the tools you need to succeed.

It is the understanding that sees and hears; it is the understanding that improves everything, that orders everything, and that acts, rules, and reigns.

Ive been told that if I lose weight Id have more work, but I refuse to submit myself to Hollywood standards. To the rest of the world I am slim and I like the way I am.

Most criticism of advertising is written in ignorance of what actually happens inside these agencies.

If you cannot live the way you want, there is no point in living.

Think not those faithful who praise all thy words and actions, but those who kindly reprove thy faults.

We think we have solved the mystery of creation. Maybe we should patent the universe and charge everyone royalties for their existence.