It's a completely useless emotion - jealousy. I don't go there.

I keep my stand-up comedy notes in a pile on my desk. I don't organize my act. I keep myself in a state of confusion. It stresses me out, but I prefer creative chaos.

I don't get jealous of people. Jealousy is such a waste of time because you're jealous of them, and they go about their lives and have a wonderful time, so what's the point?

Those flowers were picked by illegal immigrants. And they're not voting for you, b*tch.

Everyone thinks I'm Jewish. I'm not. Last year I got a call: "Happy Hanukkah." I said "Ma, I'm not Jewish."

Madeleine Albright, when you see her, she's not a beautiful woman and she's getting older. But you're saying that woman has gravitas. She knows what she's talking about.

I want to do an intelligent talk show where you have room to breathe...

I don't need a diet pill. I need something that gives you an electric shock when you reach for food.

Statistically, skinny women die younger than fat women. Why? Because fat women are killing them.

Republican Party hasn't been black friendly over the many centuries in this country.

Comedians usually are rooting for the underdog. I mean to take a shot at an underdog I think is really stupid and low and not funny.

Speak the truth do not become angered and give when asked, even be it a little. By these three conditions one goes to the presence of the gods.

I don't think any relationship responds well to pressure.

China leads the world in energy consumption, carbon emissions, and the release of major air and water pollutants, and the environmental impact is felt both regionally and globally.

I think that Governor Romney operates on the capital gains tax, his investments, what he lives off of instead of doing it off of his income.

The oceans themselves are threatened and life itself, therefore, and the planet is threatened because of it.

Any time I break up with Dawson or question him, viewers turn against me.

You don't deploy forces into harm's way without knowing what's going on.

I don't connect much with the present. I have more of an affinity for what came in the past.

A conviction is in the nature of a verdict and judgment, and therefore it must be precise and certain.

In high school, I weighed 175 to 180. I looked like Abraham Lincoln. I was 6-foot-3, biggest thing in the class, but tall, not fat.