It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Im looking for a girl who's fun to be around.

As a child, the paddy field was my playground.

The junk food of political journalism...all reshuffle stories are crap.

We are born helpless. As soon as we are fully conscious we discover loneliness. We need others physically, emotionally, and intellectually. We need them if we are to know anything, even ourselves.

Less bitching...more learning.

It is my great hope that our paths, however long and winding, will cross again.

There is real comfort in being quiet.

A lonely Autumn leaf on the road by sticking to another one becomes more resistant to harsh winds. Unity is the midwife of security!

Spiritual matters should be private.

You're too old to still be playing. I'll buy you a rocker you can sit in.