It's a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is - reading the news or speaking to people.

I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them

Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.

I'd like a nice piece of salmon that's not too pink inside and yet isn't too dry or crisp either.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And if that doesn't work out for you, Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.

My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed.

If someone sprays windex in your food it can give you diarrhea. But once you wipe it off your windows, you're fine.

I don't roll like that but I've never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that's good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that's a little disturbing.

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.

Lots of things are mystries. But that doesn't mean there isn't an answer to them. It's just that scientists haven't found the answer yet.

Deceit dispels the boredom of the Absolute.

Oh, what a dear ravishing thing is the beginning of an Amour!

Our private property must be sacrificed.

You're only as good as your last picture.

I think to scandalize is a right, to be scandalized is a pleasure, and those who refuse to be scandalized are moralists.

The greatest secret in the world is that you only have to be a small measurable amount better than mediocrity ...and you've got it made.

I grew up in San Francisco and moved to L.A. about 20 years ago, and now my main home is in Hollywood.

If I don't eat soon, I'll die of hunger; and if I die, I won't eat soon.

You must do everything you can to make your appearance pleasing, but the minute you walk out the door, forget yourself and start concentrating on others.