It's a privilege to pay taxes. Yeah! It's not a political question, folks. We have to pay for stuff.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

The words ‘I love you’ are worthless when you don’t know who the 'I' is in that statement.

Are we praying?" "If you have to ask, you probably aren't.

A man becomes a philosopher by reason of a certain perplexity, from which he seeks to free himself.

The average family pays more in taxes than it spends on food, clothing, and shelter combined.

Don't step on my blue suede shoes.

I was reared in a Jehovah's Witness household. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me.

God strikes not as an enemy, to destroy; but as a father, to correct.

The Tudors, I don't even know if I had a family back then.

My pre-occupation is with the relationship between objects, whether I am dealing with woods, fields or water, rocks or trees, shrubs and plants, or groups of plants.