It's a safe bet that someone who tells you you need to calm down has never actually seen you when you needed to calm down.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

I think Paul Scholes is the best player in England. He's got the best skills, the best brain. No one can match him. There isn't a player of his mould anywhere in the world. Paul is irreplaceable.

Only love can break a heart into so many pieces. -Risika(In The Forest Of The Night)

I applied to Uncyclopedia Bassists, and was accepted!!

Fear is often disguised as moral outrage.

A brand is a voice and a product is a souvenir.

Figured Bass (Harmony) and Religion are self-contained things, one should not argue these.

There are moments when mental overload can render words impossible.

If this is the way Queen Victoria treats her prisoners, she doesn't deserve to have any.

People wanted the world to be a story, because stories had to sound right and they had to make sense. People wanted the world to make sense.

Coordinating there Events and objects with remote events And vanished objects. Making ornaments Of accidents and possibilities.