It's a very odd thing with Hollywood, where you do stand-up, you're good at it, then they go, "How would you like to be a horrible actor?" Then you say, "All right, that sounds good. I'll do that."

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

Whatever fills your heart with joy and fills your mind with love--that is your truth of love.

Think first. Think twice. Think again. Respect others. Respect yourself. Respect dreams.

Travel is hard, but entertaining is joy.

I'll always do 'Sherlock' - it's something I'm not going to give up on.

If you cannot trust God for the temporal, how dare you trust him for the eternal?

Prayer must not be our chance work but our daily business, our habit and vocation.

I believe that a small action or a subtle gesture in life can change many, many things.

Hustle is just playing the game right.

Most films, it doesn't matter if you see them or not.

Prayer unfolds in the stillness of the soul.