It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Oppressed people cannot remain oppressed forever. The yearning for freedom eventually manifests itself.

I have been at my book; and am now past the craggy paths of study, and come to the flowery plains of honour and reputation

There are three things that smell of fish. One of them is fish. The other two are growing on you!

There is no rule more invariable than that we are paid for our suspicions by finding what we suspect.

I can’t seem to make myself care about anything to the right or left of the present.

Openly I whispered and breathed a big gulp of air and saw all the beautiful trees and birds which surrounded me. The morning was beautiful like your smile.

The only thing over which you have complete right of control at all times is your mental attitude.

Elvis was the firstest with the mostest.

The true picture of the past flits by. The past can be seized only as an image which flashes up at the instant when it can be recognized and is never seen again.

Comedy comes from conflict, from hatred.