It's a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he's dead.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Libraries allow children to ask questions about the world and find the answers. And the wonderful thing is that once a child learns to use a library, the doors to learning are always open.

God did not create you to fail!

Music is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual life.

That neither our thoughts, nor passions, nor ideas formed by the imagination, exist without the mind, is what every body will allow.

The easiest way to get 15 minutes of fame is to be rude to somebody.

I think all artists secretly hope their kids might do something safer and straitlaced: maybe my daughter 'll be a banker.

I was often asked how one could even make sense of this. Isn't the category of knowledge something that we project upon the world, rather than something that we discover in it?

The Italians are said to be noisy and to gesticulate, but that is a libel dreamed up by the English.

Villains often more the story along while the heros react to the villains, so the villain becomes the engine of the story.

The dogma of the infallibility of the Bible is no more self-evident than is that of the infallibility of the popes.