It's actually true that I keep myself going by constantly promising myself that in response for the hard work I will be allowed to do some more hard work later on.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

If you have shed a thousand tears, expect a thousand blessings.

Future is the most difficult problem of our era.

The key to your happiness, Depends on what's in focus.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

I've pitched too many innings and pitched too many years - one game doesn't make or break my career.

I don't want to be thought of as wholesome.

If my fans think I can do everything I say I can do, then they're crazier than I am. After one of his fight predictions turned out to be wrong.

Whatever mitigates the woes, or increases the happiness of others, is a just criterion of goodness; and whatever injures society at large, or any individual in it, is a criterion of iniquity.

This society is not 'user-friendly' for older people.

People are entitled to joy in work.