It's all I have left in my life, caffeine and a poodle.

You take away all the other luxuries in life, and if you can make someone smile and laugh, you have given the most special gift: happiness.

I love strong women, not only in life but in craft.

I would probably be a teacher if I weren't a comedian.

My whole life, I've been telling jokes.

It's fun to play people who are flawed.

I believe it's a real tedious hostage negotiation to have a marriage be what it is.

There's a black man inside of me just trying to make bail.

I was very, very large as a kid and never athletic, and my home life was a little upside down and I never felt comfortable.

I think we love watching people that are flawed because we're all flawed.

Anyone can cook but only the fearless can be great.

Real relationships are the product of time spent, which is why so many of us have so few of them.

I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.

The heart is a place with worm holes made by feelings you aren't supposed to have but do.

There is no person in this room whose basic rights are not involved in any successful defiance to the carrying out of court orders.

Fate is not the ruler, but the servant of Providence.

I'm a very law-abiding citizen, and I've never consciously broken any law. I get nervous just jaywalking in Los Angeles!

Discover your uniqueness and learn to exploit it in the service of others, and you are guaranteed success, happiness, and prosperity.

I've always done a lot of stunts in the past, and I sound like I'm tooting my own horn here, but I've always impressed the people I've worked with and they've let me do more and more.

Life is a journey. How we travel is really up to us. We can just flow with the tide or follow our own dreams.

Leadership appears to be the art of getting others to want to do something you are convinced should be done