It's always bad news when you kill your date

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

Science is essentially an anarchic enterprise: theoretical anarchism is more humanitarian and more likely to encourage progress than its law-and-order alternatives.

As with a love affair, the battered heart needs time to recover from a good work of fiction.

Since your mindset can make you or break you, how is it going? Is it representing you well or does it need a complete overhaul?

In 1988, Christmas, that was my last performance because I moved to Hawaii to raise my son.

I spent a majority of my life in Kansas City, so I am a Chiefs and Royals guy. I used to work for the Royals for like five years in the suites department and in the stadium club restaurant.

The only thing truly within our power, may be whether or not we will behave in each moment with arrogance or reverence.

Domald Trump has whatever it is that works on television.

For good or ill, your habits will make or break you.

Much of the self-righteous nonsense that abounds on so many subjects cannot stand up to three questions: (1) Compared to what? (2) At what cost? and (3) What are the hard facts?.

Logic and sermons never convince, The damp of the night drives deeper into my soul.